Freedom aint nothing but missing you
by Mrs.J.Malfoy
Summary: "…and this is me swallowing my pride standing front of you saying I'm sorry for that night" he sang in front of everyone and who was I not to love him? HP/DM


Title: Freedom aint nothing but missing you.

Summary: "…and this is me swallowing my pride standing front of you saying I'm sorry for that night" he sang in front of everyone and who was I not to love him?

Pairing: Draco & Harry

Rating: K

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I did stuff like this would have happened a long time ago! I also do not own the song 'back to December' Taylor Swift does sorry.

I will apologise now for any spelling mistakes, I am doing this on my own I do not have a beta!

"I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me how's your family. I haven't seen them in a while. You've been good, busier than ever, We small talk, work and the weather, your guard is up and I know why." His voice filled the room as he strummed the beat on his old battered guitar that I once loved so much. He was perched on top on the table, his feet in the place I usual sat, in front of everyone. And everyone was staring.

He stared at me as he sang softly, but everyone could hear him as well as I could and I could do nothing but just look as I let his words go through me.

"Because the last time you saw me, is still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses and I left them there to die." His voice was low and it carried around the great hall because the dead silence. He sat in his green uniform, surrounded by gold and he sang, he sang to me.

"So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night," And I go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right, I go back to December all the time." Memories flood my mind, things I'd pushed so far back I'd almost hoped they had disappeared completely, turns out they hadn't. I felt my eyes fill up and I prayed that it came silently, my prays were answered when the first trickle of water left my eye making a path down to my chin but I barley felt it, I was just too into him.

"These days I haven't been sleeping, Staying up, playing back myself leavin'. When your birthday passed and I didn't call. And I think about summer, all the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side. Realized that I loved you in the fall." I tried to tear my eyes away, maybe even open my mouth and tell him to stop, but I did neither, I wasn't strong enough, not yet. Not with him looking at my so intensely, pouring all his feeling and emotions out into this one moment in time and I couldn't help but think was it too late?

"And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind you gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"." At this he looked away, and I knew why for once, he was ashamed, ashamed for what he ran away from, ashamed for what he's done for me, and he should feel that way. I didn't care if he pulled out a diamond ring and begged in front of everyone to have me back, that wouldn't have worked and he knew it, so he was playing me a different way, pulling at a different heart string, forgiveness, because he had realised his actions and was trying to make amends in the only way he knew how.

"So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night." And I go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom aint nothing but missing you, wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind I go back to December all the time." His eyes were down cast as if suddenly afraid to look at me and I wanted to reach out to him and lay him a hand of comfort but then I remembered everything and my eyes grew cold. He was swallowing his pride and giving himself to me in front of everyone yes but what did that matter? He broke me and a song couldn't fix that but …"I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile, So good to me, so right And how you held me in your arms that September night, The first time you ever saw me cry,"

"Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming, But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right." And at this he looked deep into my eyes and for once I knew he wasn't lying, not to me, not to the world and not to himself. This wasn't a show of affection, it wasn't him trying to embarrass himself either to get me to forgive him, it was an apology, it was a declaration to everyone that he loved me and that he didn't care if I couldn't love him back because he'd seen through his mistakes.

His voice almost broke at the sudden emotion. As if the sudden realisation of what he was actually doing had only just crossed his mind that precise moment. He closed his eyes, took a breath and carried on, "I'd go back in time and change it but I can't. So if the chain is on your door I understand."

"…and this is me swallowing my pride standing front of you saying I'm sorry for that night" he sang in front of everyone and who was I not to love him?

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